Wordless Wednesday

Six Weeks Already?

Where is the time going? I can't believe Sydney is already six weeks old! On the other hand, so much has happened since then- has it only been six weeks?! Our biggest news is that in the past week, she slept 6 hours one night and 6.5 hours another night. I'm not sure how long she's supposed to sleep before we can say she slept "through the night", but I'm thrilled to pieces with our progress so far.
The downer is that I couldn't catch a smile today during our photo session. In fact, she was completely mad about sitting there next to that lamb! She cheered up not long afterward, but we didn't go back for more pictures. For today- a picture of our girl in rare form!

6 weeks old

Happy six-week birthday Sweet Pea!

Sydney's First Christmas

This has been absolutely my favorite Christmas ever! Better than when I was little and I got new roller skates AND a dollhouse, and even better than when Rob took me to New York City to see the tree at Rockafellar Center. We told Sydney that what we really wanted for Christmas was a smile from her. A TRUE smile, not just the happenstance "gas grins" that she'd been giving for a few weeks.

We decided to celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve this year. We had to be at Rob's parents' house by 11 on Christmas morning, and I knew that meant we wouldn't have any extra time for breakfast or opening our gifts to each other before that, so we just bumped everything up a day. Some might say that we cheated, but I don't care- we had a wonderfully relaxing Christmas at home on Thursday before a fun family Christmas on Friday. One of our only Christmas traditions is to go to the Gaylord Opryland hotel to see the lights. If you've never been there, it's a huge, extravagant hotel here in Nashville and it's decorated beautifully for the holidays. Several years ago, when Rob & I were dating, he took me there and that's where he first told me he loved me. I've made him take me back to the exact spot every year since and tell me he loves me again! As a result, we have a picture of us together every year at Opryland, and I wanted one with Sydney. So on Wednesday, our Christmas Eve, off we went. (I'll skip the part about how Sydney had her first big blowout diaper on the way there and we had to change her in mid-air between the front & back seats of the car!) It was fun to stand there by "our fountain" and tell her how our family sort of started in that very place. Afterwards, we went home, drank hot chocolate, read the nativity story from The Jesus Storybook Bible, and watched a Christmas movie. It was a great night.

We got up on Thursday morning, our Christmas morning around 8 and got to enjoy being lazy for a few minutes. I fed Sydney, and then laid her down between us in our bed. We just stared at her and talked to her for a while before we finally decided to go downstairs and start the celebration. Sydney decided to take a nap instead of opening her stocking, so Rob & I had a little time to enjoy giving each other gifts while she rested.

   

After Syd woke up, she gave us her gift to us...

          

We could not have asked for a better surprise!! Once she got it figured out, she didn't stop smiling for a while- it was so sweet! I wish I had a video to show you- her right cheek comes up first, and then the left side follows. We've had a blast this weekend spending time together as a family. The best part is, we know that our Christmases to come are only going to get better as Sydney gets older.

Wordless Wednesday

A Mom's Thoughts

5 weeks old

I can't believe how much Sydney has changed already! I know that 5 weeks isn't very long, but it seems like SO much has happened since she was born. Really, it's already hard to remember our lives without her- it's like she's always been here. And it's so good.

Christmas is different this year. Rob and I were talking tonight about how usually, by this time in December, we've been singing Christmas carols for weeks in church, and heard the story of Jesus' birth preached a few times. We haven't been out as much this year, so it's been up to us to "get into the Christmas spirit" on our own. And it's been harder to do. But at the same time, I feel like I'm seeing Christmas through new eyes this year. We went to our church's Christmas music service last weekend, and one of the kids choirs sang a song about how Jesus was a baby, and He cried, and He took his first steps-- it described Jesus' humanity as a baby. As we sat there listening to the kids sing, my eyes welled up with tears, thinking about how Mary dealt with all the same emotions I've been feeling lately. The joy she felt as a mother. The pain she felt when her baby cried. It's so cliche', but it's true- you can't describe the love a parent feels for their child, and I've experienced that now. So to think that God loved us so much that He would sacrifice His Son, that Jesus came to earth as a baby so that we could have eternal life... it's almost too much to swallow.

Becoming a mother has taught me so much that I didn't know I didn't know. The greatest lesson, though, is a better picture of the magnitude of God's love. I'm certain that I've only begun to taste it, and yet I'm overwhelmed.

I'm not really sure where I was trying to go with all that, and re-reading it now I realize that it sort of rambles. Maybe it would be better if I tried to organize my thoughts a little more and then share them in a more coherent manner, but I'm going to post it anyway. Sorry for rambling- I'll just play the "I-haven't-slept-a-full-night-in-months-so-I can't-really-think-straight" card. I'll be praying, though, that you too will see Christmas through a new filter this year and be changed by it.

December 17- One Month

November 18- 18 hours old

Happy Birthday Sweet Sydney!
It's crazy to think that one month ago today you came into our world. Even though so much has happened in your first month, it feels like yesterday when we locked eyes for the first time. You've changed so much already.
- You weigh 8-9 lbs (8 lbs, 7 oz last week) and wear size Newborn clothes. Some of your newborn clothes are still too big!
- You are starting to smile more every day. I don't think it's intentional yet, but you're practicing quite a bit and I can't wait for the day when I KNOW you're smiling back at me on purpose because you're happy!
- You are pretty laid back. You don't usually cry unless something is wrong (mostly if you're hungry or your tummy hurts after you eat). Riding in the car puts you to sleep every time.
- You sleep a LOT! It's not unusual for you to sleep about 20 hours in a day. But you're starting to have more awake time, which we love. You sleep really well at night, in 4-5 hour stretches most of the time.When you're awake, you really like it when we hold you up high on our chests and talk close to your face.
- You are a good eater, and would eat until you puke every feeding if I would let you! I've let you do that a few times because you were acting especially hungry, but then I felt guilty for overfeeding you.
- Your neck is getting stronger, and you try to hold your head back and look at us when we hold you on our shoulders. You don't really like tummy time though- and rather than lift your head to practice turning it, you like to stick your fingers in your mouth and go straight to sleep instead.
- This week, you've started paying attention when you hear Mommy's or Daddy's voice, and you look around if you hear us but don't see us.

December 17- 1 month old

We love you, Pumpkin! We couldn't be more proud to be your parents! Love, Mommy & Daddy

Wordless Wednesday

Growing Girl

4 weeks old

It's been a big week for cousins for Sydney. This past weekend, my sister Mindi & her husband Ryan and son came to visit from Texas. Sydney is David's first- and only- cousin, and I think he was unimpressed! He's not quite two years old, so we won't hold it against him. We weren't able to convince him to sit down with her so that we could get pictures of them together, much less pay any attention to her at all. He did give her a few kisses, after lots of coaxing, and we tried to snap pictures of that. I'm hoping that at least one of them turned out good (they weren't taken with my camera, so I don't know yet). Then Monday, Syd hung out with her Aunt Joanna, Uncle Stephen & cousin Annabelle while Mommy did a little bit of Christmas shopping & errands. When I got back to their house, they were attempting a photo shoot, but Sydney was the one not cooperating- she was sleeping HARD and wouldn't be woken up! She & Annabelle are only six weeks apart, so we're all anxious for the two of them to discover each other- Joanna and I are sure they'll be best friends!

I definitely think we've hit a growth spurt. Up until yesterday, Sydney had been doing great in a pattern of eating every three hours. And then yesterday, our calm, content little sweetie turned into a hungry, hungry hippo, wailing and "rooting" for food every hour & a half to two hours. Her little appetite cannot be satisfied! Today, she was hardly awake at all- except to eat, and not even always then. She's been a little eating machine, though, and I'm thrilled. Maybe she's trying to catch up to her two big cousins! I would love to find a scale to put her on, just to see how much she's gaining. She's been wearing all Newborn size clothes, and even some of those have been too big. Well, tonight I put a sleeper on her after her bath and was thrilled to find her little toes reaching all the way to the bottom of the feet. It wasn't until a little later that I realized the sleeves are now too short, and I even unbuttoned the top button because I was afraid it was too tight! (I think I'll change her into something else before we put her down for the night) For now, I'm enjoying sitting here watching her & Rob snuggle on the couch- I don't know which of them is enjoying it more. My heart is full!

I don't know that she'll be able to wear this sleeper again!

Baby's Day Out

Sydney's first outing was a success! I needed to go to LifeWay for a brief meeting, so we got dressed and set out for Syd's first trip to anywhere besides the doctor's office or family's house. She was an angel- she slept peacefully through my meeting and was a doll the whole time we were there. (To my co-workers who we didn't see today, I'm sorry- we didn't really pace the halls visiting. She's too little and has already had respiratory issues and no shots. I'll bring her back for a true visit another day.) I love this picture of her & Rob tonight!

Mommy's brag: Sydney slept SO GOOD last night! She went down at 9:30pm and slept until 2:30am-- FIVE HOURS-- and then slept another 4 hours after she ate. You're an angel, Baby Girl! Thanks for letting Mommy get some rest!

Mommy's booboo: I've been nervous about clipping Sydney's nails since before she was born. I even asked the nurse to cut them for me when she was still in the hospital. Her little claws grow fast, though- so much so that we've lovingly called her "Sydney Scissorhands" when she's scratched us. Well, tonight, I blew it- I cut her fingertip with the clippers. I felt terrible!!! Not only did I cut my poor baby's finger, but I did it while she was sleeping and woke her from a perfectly good nap. Ouch- I stink!!

Wordless Wednesday

She did it!

Rob commented last week that Sydney looked like a tiny boxer last week in her hooded towel after her bath. Today, like a champ, our little "featherweight" met her weight goal! The pediatrician said that she needed to be at 8 lbs, 6 oz. by this week. We put a lot of emphasis this past week on good feedings and it paid off- Sydney weighed in today at 8 lbs, 7 oz! Her doctor was impressed that she's already an overachiever!

There's really not much else to write about today- we didn't much else this past week. So here's a picture of our big 3-week-old girl. We're thankful that she's healthy and growing!

Two weeks old!

I guess this is a picture of Sydney's second outing with Mommy & Daddy- on our way to her two-week check-up with the pediatrician. Her first was the jaundice check that led to a trip to Children's Hospital, and I hate thinking about that. I'm thinking I'll probably wait to write in her baby book about her first FUN outing rather than a trip to see the doctor. Another high-point of this week's check-up: it was the first time Rob and I saw Sydney's pediatrician not half-asleep and in our pajamas since our initial interview (he made early rounds in the hospitals, and always managed to catch us right before our alarm clock!). I'm glad he finally got to see us looking normal!

There was one other minor event at the pediatrician's office that I forgot to mention- he removed the umbilical cord from Syd's bellybutton! He examined it and said that it was looking good, and before we knew what was happening, he said to her, "Eh- you don't need this any more" and popped it right out! We'd been trying to hard to be careful with it, and he just pulled it out like it was nothing! Fortunately, it didn't seem to bother Sydney... our little girl is growing up so fast.

With the loss of her bellybutton stump (and the discovery of her very deep little bellybutton!), that meant she could finally have a real bath! So that's exactly what we did to celebrate her two-week birthday. It was hard to tell how she felt about it. She didn't cry, which was a huge relief, but she also didn't exactly seem to love it. I'm hoping that once she gets a little bigger (and doesn't slide down in the sling so easily) she'll begin to enjoy bathtime and we'll all have fun playing in the water. I was really thankful she didn't poop in the tub!

Below are the pictures from Syd's two-week photo shoot. All the modeling wore our girl out pretty quickly! (So we did one extra picture after her bath-- just in case)

Happy Birthday, Sweet Baby Girl!

Blessed

Life is good! Sydney has been home with us almost a week now, and she's keeping us on our toes- and we're loving every minute! We went to the doctor this morning for her two week check-up; she's doing great! She's still not quite back up to her birth weight, but her pediatrician felt like that could be partly due to her hospitalization last week, so he's giving us another week to get it up and we'll check it again.

We had a wonderful thanksgiving at home- Sydney got to spend time with all of her grandparents and aunts and uncles (except Aunt Mindi, Uncle Ryan & David who are coming to visit next week), and she met her cousin Annabelle for the first time. These two girls are six weeks apart, so we're all looking forward to watching them grow up together.

Since last weekend was spent at the hospital, this was Sydney's first football weekend- she cheers for LSU, Tennessee, and the Titans- and all three of her teams won this weekend! She got decked out for the college games, but her Titans jersey is still a little big (it will fit better once she gains that weight the doctor mentioned).
Rob and I feel so lucky to be the parents of such a sweet baby girl. She's a blast, and we can't get enough of her!

There's No Place Like Home

Dorothy, you weren't kidding sister!

What a day it has been. It felt a little like a do-over of last Thursday, when we first brought her home. I had the same nervous feelings riding in the backseat next to her, the same excitement turning into our neighborhood, the same relief as we pulled into our driveway. Happy one-week birthday, Baby Girl! You're home!

Walking through the halls of Vanderbilt Children's Hospital today on our way out, I finally saw what a great place it is. We've spent the last four days there, and yesterday- day three of our stay- I left room 7310 for the first time to walk around the corner to find the family laundry room. I had to ask a nurse for directions and she tried to start by telling me go back to the elevators... excuse me? There's an elevator here? Where is that? It was a short walk, and as much as I enjoyed the fresh air, I couldn't get back to Sydney's side fast enough. Anyway, if I had ventured out any further, I would have seen a remarkable facility that doesn't feel like a hospital as you walk through. But while I was impressed, if we never go back there again I'll be totally fine with that.

As I mentioned earlier, all the doctor really could say this morning is that Sydney was looking great and they had no more reason to keep her in the hospital. While it's a little scary and frustrating to have no concrete explanation for the distress Sydney experienced over the weekend, we're just so thankful that the problems seem to have completely gone away. Two of doctors who treated her both said, "It is better to see a patient get better and not know what the problem was, than to know what the problem is and not see a patient get better." I have watched Syd like a hawk today, and I'll probably sleep with one eye open tonight, but all we've seen today is a content, sleeping, pooping, precious little girl!

We have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. I am thankful for a healthy baby who has changed my life forever in the longest and shortest week ever. I am thankful for an incredible husband who I love even more every time I see him holding our daughter. I am thankful for the doctors, nurses, ER team, and other caregivers at VCH who have taken care of our whole family this week. I am thankful for friends, acquaintances, and strangers who have stopped in the midst of their busy days to pray for Sydney. I am thankful for a Great Physician Who is all knowing and Who allowed us to witness yet another miracle this week. I am thankful for the journey we've been on the past few days, because my faith is stronger and  I have a better understanding of Jesus' love as a result.

There aren't enough words to say thanks to all of you who are reading this message- you found this blog because you cared about our Sweet Sydney. Thank you for lifting her name up to heaven on our behalf.

I hope you find yourself surrounded by blessings this Thanksgiving with much to give thanks for!

And we're done!

We're bundling up our sweet Sydney and breaking out of this place! She's been successfully off oxygen for nearly 18 hours now and her pediatrician feels like we will need to chalk this up to a shaky transition from the fetal environment to the world. We'll be able to share a little more later, but wanted to get this exciting news out for now!

Thank you SO MUCH for your continued prayers for Sydney, Rob & me over these past four days and now as we go home again to begin settling in as a family of three.

Oh, praise the greatness of our God! Deuteronomy 32:3

Look! No Tubes!!

Monday Evening- Still Hopeful

It has turned out to be an alright day, but I haven't let out my breath yet. After another unsuccessful attempt to get Sydney off oxygen this morning, we tried again this afternoon. As I type, we're nearing 6 hours off o2- YAY! That's the longest she's lasted so far, so we're hopeful that she'll last a while longer this time. The rest of her life would be good.
I know it's confusing, all this talk about oxygen saturation levels. Rob and I have learned a LOT in the past 48 hours. Basically, they're monitoring the amount of oxygen in Sydney's blood as it circulates through her little body. Ideally, it would be 100% saturation all of the time, but the doctor's have set her goal at 93 or above. When she's hooked up to the o2, she tends to hang out between 96-100. When we've taken her off, she'll hang out in the high 90s for a while and slowly drop down to the high 80s. Any prolonged time below 90 is dangerous. It's ok for that number to dip, as long as it comes back up immediately. Sometimes it does, but not always- that's when they have to turn the o2 back on. About 2 or 3 hours after we turned it off this afternoon, she dipped down to the 80s several times in five minutes, but kept bouncing back up. It was the first time we'd seen her recover on her own. She's been holding steady in the mid-90s - 100 ever since, which is VERY good news. The night time tends to be harder, since it's natural for everyone's breathing to slow while they sleep. We're praying that she'll keep her numbers up tonight!
We're waiting for a pulmonary specialist to come see her tomorrow and hopefully offer some insight from that perspective as to why she's having trouble with this.
Another small victory- Sydney hasn't really nursed since Saturday. She had done really well the first few days, so it was a little discouraging for this new mommy. Fortunately I've been able to pump and we haven't had to give her formula, she's just had breast milk from a bottle. I think, at least I want to believe, that the cannula in her nose was the biggest obstacle. After we were able to get rid of that this afternoon and a visit from a lactation consultant, she's had two full feedings this afternoon/evening without a bottle! Sorry if that's too much information for some, but it was very exciting for us and feels like an important move towards her recovery.
Again, I can't tell you how thankful Rob and I are for every single one of you who have reached out to us or have prayed silently where you are. I'm sorry I'm not doing a very good job of responding to the messages and calls. Know that I'll do my best to start returning calls and emails soon, and it has been a boost every time we've heard from you!
Please keep praying for our sweet Sydney!!

Monday Morning Update

Happy Birthday, Pumpkin- you're six days old today!

We're still just hanging out, waiting for her oxygen saturation levels to reach a point where she can sustain them on her own. Yesterday afternoon, after a few hours of weaning, she was still unable to maintain a healthy level for more than a few minutes on her own. When they tried again last night, she was able to stay off the oxygen for about six hours! Unfortunately, though, it didn't last and she had to go back on. We tried again this morning and she lasted an hour or so before needing the extra help.

The good news is, when Sydney's on the O2 she's receiving the smallest possible amount through a tube. We were visited this morning by a friend from church (who also happens to be a pediatric resident here). He reminded us that even though we see every tiny occurance and they seem like setbacks, her overall progress is positive and we should be encouraged by that.

Thanks for the continued calls, texts, emails, facebook messages, and above all- Prayers! We know that God is answering and we're praising Him for that!

No Title Needed

She's doing better! God is faithful and the prayers of many are being answered-- the weaning of oxygen is going well so far and we're hopeful that maybe the doctors will start talking about home tomorrow!

Prayers for Sydney- a few more details

It's hard to explain all that we've been through. As hard as it is to take my eyes off our girl for even a minute to sit at the foot of her bed and type, I want to write this out so everyone will understand what's going on (as best I can explain it) and know how to pray with us.

How we ended up at Vanderbilt- the quick version
Thursday morning, before we were released from the hospital (from Sydney's birth), the pediatrician thought she looked slightly jaundiced. It wasn't serious enough to require any treatment at that time; he wanted us to follow up on Saturday morning though, just to be sure it wasn't getting any worse. Saturday morning, the pediatrician, Dr. H, was satisfied with Syd's color. However, he was concerned because she was breathing pretty rapidly and wasn't responding appropriately to all the pokes and prods- rather than being agitated, she just laid there. He gave us instructions to go straight to the ER at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital and told us they would be expecting us.

Vandy ER
Sydney was seen right away. By this time, her breathing seemed to be under control, but she was extremely lethargic. It had been four hours since her last feeding and she wouldn't wake up to eat and wasn't crying or fussy. All the doctors could tell us at that point was that something was causing her to behave that way and we needed to figure out what it was. It was a long day of waiting, crying, and praying. She had chest x-rays, abdomen x-rays, blood tests, urine cultures (after hours of trying to get urine out of her), and even an attempted spinal tap- 2 sticks were unsuccessful at withdrawing fluid. All the tests were coming back ok, but the doctors weren't convinced that all was fine.

In the Infant Unit
She was finally admitted around 6 or 7 last night. Her blood-ox level had been good all day in the ER, but the nurse on the floor noticed it dropping shortly after we moved up. She was assessed by yet another doctor. It wasn't long before they started "blow-by" oxygen, indirectly giving her concentrated amounts of O2. By 10 or 11, she was showing signs of needing more attention, and over the course of the next hour or so she ended up with 5 nurses/doctors standing over and around her bed trying to draw blood, start a new IV, get her blood pressure from all extremities. It was excrutiating for me and Rob, so we know it could only have been worse for her. Finally around 1am, they finished and were satisfied that they'd done all they could do until morning. By this time, we've been told her situation could be related to a viral infection, lung problem, heart defect, heart murmur, meningitis, and several other options I can't even remember any more.

Overnight
Sydney had an EKG and a nasal cannula was started because the blow-by oxygen was no longer enough to keep her blood saturation up at a healthy level.

Sunday Morning
We're waiting for a pediatric cardiologist to come up and do a heart echo. Sydney nursed a little bit, and then drank 2 oz. from a bottle (yay!). She blew her second IV early this morning, but Dr. H wants to hold off on a third IV if we can get her to keep drinking. He sat down with us and was very compassionate in explaining that while most pediatric cases are pretty clear, Syd's obviously is not. He feels like he can rule out, at this point, a viral or lung issue or infection. He's anxious to hear from the cardiologist, though, and believes that we may find the root of our girl's problems. Dr. H is a believer, and he prayed with us before he left. He also shared that as he prayed yesterday morning, before he began his day and met us for the first time, God stirred his heart and told him that he needed to be on alert because he was going to see something important that day; he thinks God was preparing him to meet Sydney. She is indeed important to us.

**Updated Sunday Afternoon**
The cardiologist just left and her heart is "perfectly normal". PRAISE THE LORD!!! He suspects bronchiole-itis (sp??). We're back to waiting for the next step, but we're so encouraged that it's not a problem with her heart! Thank you Jesus!

As for us...
Rob and I are "ok". I'm so thankful that he's so strong; he's been a rock while I've been a mess. On Tuesday, I thought labor and delivering a baby would be the hardest things I would ever do. I was so, so wrong. The hardest thing I've ever done is sat and watched my four day old baby be poked and prodded while she screamed with all her little lungs had. The hardest thing I've ever done is sat and watched my four day old baby be poked and prodded while she lay there and didn't respond at all. My heart has been broken over and over again, and put back back together every time she's opened her eyes and looked at us.
Really, we are ok. We have absolute faith and trust that God knows what is going on and He will continue to be faithful to heal our girl. It hasn't been easy to believe, but it's all we can do. We've been encouraged and strengthened by the calls, texts, and prayers of so many. Thank you for loving us and loving our baby enough to lift up her name. We look forward to the day we can take her home and send out pictures of a happy, healthy, thriving little girl.

How you can Pray for Us
- Pray for Sydney!! She's been a trooper so far. Pray that she'll continue to eat good without IV fluids, pray that she'll sleep good when she's not being messed with and that she'll show her dissatisfaction when she's agitated. Her cry has become a sweeter sound than we ever could have imagined. Pray for her pain to be minimal and healing to come quick
- Pray for the doctors, nurses, and specialists who are treating Syd and reviewing her case. Pray for wisdom for them to see what exactly is causing these problems and knowledge of how to treat it quickly
- Pray for Rob and I to continue to have strength and energy to endure the next few hours and possibly days. We came in as exhausted parents of a four-day-old baby and haven't gotten much rest since. Pray for my milk to continue to flow so that it will be enough to sustain Syd nutritionally. Pray for our faith to grow in the midst of this trial

We love you and are grateful that we have a wide network of family and friends who we can call on for support- both physically and emotionally. Please keep praying and we'll do our best to keep you updated.

Day two: Just as Sweet!

Not that we were concerned, but she didn't get any less cute overnight! In fact, I think both Rob & I are even more smitten with our precious girl today than we were yesterday. Sydney is just amazing and we are in awe that God would give us such a beautiful gift. We are beyond thankful for our incredible blessing!

That's not a mirror- that's Rob's baby picture! As one nurse said, "That ain't a daddy's maybe- that's a daddy's baby!"

She's here!!!

Sydney Claire Dixon; Born 11/17/09, 1:55pm; 8lb9oz 20.5in........perfect