Blessed

Life is good! Sydney has been home with us almost a week now, and she's keeping us on our toes- and we're loving every minute! We went to the doctor this morning for her two week check-up; she's doing great! She's still not quite back up to her birth weight, but her pediatrician felt like that could be partly due to her hospitalization last week, so he's giving us another week to get it up and we'll check it again.

We had a wonderful thanksgiving at home- Sydney got to spend time with all of her grandparents and aunts and uncles (except Aunt Mindi, Uncle Ryan & David who are coming to visit next week), and she met her cousin Annabelle for the first time. These two girls are six weeks apart, so we're all looking forward to watching them grow up together.

Since last weekend was spent at the hospital, this was Sydney's first football weekend- she cheers for LSU, Tennessee, and the Titans- and all three of her teams won this weekend! She got decked out for the college games, but her Titans jersey is still a little big (it will fit better once she gains that weight the doctor mentioned).
Rob and I feel so lucky to be the parents of such a sweet baby girl. She's a blast, and we can't get enough of her!

There's No Place Like Home

Dorothy, you weren't kidding sister!

What a day it has been. It felt a little like a do-over of last Thursday, when we first brought her home. I had the same nervous feelings riding in the backseat next to her, the same excitement turning into our neighborhood, the same relief as we pulled into our driveway. Happy one-week birthday, Baby Girl! You're home!

Walking through the halls of Vanderbilt Children's Hospital today on our way out, I finally saw what a great place it is. We've spent the last four days there, and yesterday- day three of our stay- I left room 7310 for the first time to walk around the corner to find the family laundry room. I had to ask a nurse for directions and she tried to start by telling me go back to the elevators... excuse me? There's an elevator here? Where is that? It was a short walk, and as much as I enjoyed the fresh air, I couldn't get back to Sydney's side fast enough. Anyway, if I had ventured out any further, I would have seen a remarkable facility that doesn't feel like a hospital as you walk through. But while I was impressed, if we never go back there again I'll be totally fine with that.

As I mentioned earlier, all the doctor really could say this morning is that Sydney was looking great and they had no more reason to keep her in the hospital. While it's a little scary and frustrating to have no concrete explanation for the distress Sydney experienced over the weekend, we're just so thankful that the problems seem to have completely gone away. Two of doctors who treated her both said, "It is better to see a patient get better and not know what the problem was, than to know what the problem is and not see a patient get better." I have watched Syd like a hawk today, and I'll probably sleep with one eye open tonight, but all we've seen today is a content, sleeping, pooping, precious little girl!

We have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. I am thankful for a healthy baby who has changed my life forever in the longest and shortest week ever. I am thankful for an incredible husband who I love even more every time I see him holding our daughter. I am thankful for the doctors, nurses, ER team, and other caregivers at VCH who have taken care of our whole family this week. I am thankful for friends, acquaintances, and strangers who have stopped in the midst of their busy days to pray for Sydney. I am thankful for a Great Physician Who is all knowing and Who allowed us to witness yet another miracle this week. I am thankful for the journey we've been on the past few days, because my faith is stronger and  I have a better understanding of Jesus' love as a result.

There aren't enough words to say thanks to all of you who are reading this message- you found this blog because you cared about our Sweet Sydney. Thank you for lifting her name up to heaven on our behalf.

I hope you find yourself surrounded by blessings this Thanksgiving with much to give thanks for!

And we're done!

We're bundling up our sweet Sydney and breaking out of this place! She's been successfully off oxygen for nearly 18 hours now and her pediatrician feels like we will need to chalk this up to a shaky transition from the fetal environment to the world. We'll be able to share a little more later, but wanted to get this exciting news out for now!

Thank you SO MUCH for your continued prayers for Sydney, Rob & me over these past four days and now as we go home again to begin settling in as a family of three.

Oh, praise the greatness of our God! Deuteronomy 32:3

Look! No Tubes!!

Monday Evening- Still Hopeful

It has turned out to be an alright day, but I haven't let out my breath yet. After another unsuccessful attempt to get Sydney off oxygen this morning, we tried again this afternoon. As I type, we're nearing 6 hours off o2- YAY! That's the longest she's lasted so far, so we're hopeful that she'll last a while longer this time. The rest of her life would be good.
I know it's confusing, all this talk about oxygen saturation levels. Rob and I have learned a LOT in the past 48 hours. Basically, they're monitoring the amount of oxygen in Sydney's blood as it circulates through her little body. Ideally, it would be 100% saturation all of the time, but the doctor's have set her goal at 93 or above. When she's hooked up to the o2, she tends to hang out between 96-100. When we've taken her off, she'll hang out in the high 90s for a while and slowly drop down to the high 80s. Any prolonged time below 90 is dangerous. It's ok for that number to dip, as long as it comes back up immediately. Sometimes it does, but not always- that's when they have to turn the o2 back on. About 2 or 3 hours after we turned it off this afternoon, she dipped down to the 80s several times in five minutes, but kept bouncing back up. It was the first time we'd seen her recover on her own. She's been holding steady in the mid-90s - 100 ever since, which is VERY good news. The night time tends to be harder, since it's natural for everyone's breathing to slow while they sleep. We're praying that she'll keep her numbers up tonight!
We're waiting for a pulmonary specialist to come see her tomorrow and hopefully offer some insight from that perspective as to why she's having trouble with this.
Another small victory- Sydney hasn't really nursed since Saturday. She had done really well the first few days, so it was a little discouraging for this new mommy. Fortunately I've been able to pump and we haven't had to give her formula, she's just had breast milk from a bottle. I think, at least I want to believe, that the cannula in her nose was the biggest obstacle. After we were able to get rid of that this afternoon and a visit from a lactation consultant, she's had two full feedings this afternoon/evening without a bottle! Sorry if that's too much information for some, but it was very exciting for us and feels like an important move towards her recovery.
Again, I can't tell you how thankful Rob and I are for every single one of you who have reached out to us or have prayed silently where you are. I'm sorry I'm not doing a very good job of responding to the messages and calls. Know that I'll do my best to start returning calls and emails soon, and it has been a boost every time we've heard from you!
Please keep praying for our sweet Sydney!!

Monday Morning Update

Happy Birthday, Pumpkin- you're six days old today!

We're still just hanging out, waiting for her oxygen saturation levels to reach a point where she can sustain them on her own. Yesterday afternoon, after a few hours of weaning, she was still unable to maintain a healthy level for more than a few minutes on her own. When they tried again last night, she was able to stay off the oxygen for about six hours! Unfortunately, though, it didn't last and she had to go back on. We tried again this morning and she lasted an hour or so before needing the extra help.

The good news is, when Sydney's on the O2 she's receiving the smallest possible amount through a tube. We were visited this morning by a friend from church (who also happens to be a pediatric resident here). He reminded us that even though we see every tiny occurance and they seem like setbacks, her overall progress is positive and we should be encouraged by that.

Thanks for the continued calls, texts, emails, facebook messages, and above all- Prayers! We know that God is answering and we're praising Him for that!

No Title Needed

She's doing better! God is faithful and the prayers of many are being answered-- the weaning of oxygen is going well so far and we're hopeful that maybe the doctors will start talking about home tomorrow!

Prayers for Sydney- a few more details

It's hard to explain all that we've been through. As hard as it is to take my eyes off our girl for even a minute to sit at the foot of her bed and type, I want to write this out so everyone will understand what's going on (as best I can explain it) and know how to pray with us.

How we ended up at Vanderbilt- the quick version
Thursday morning, before we were released from the hospital (from Sydney's birth), the pediatrician thought she looked slightly jaundiced. It wasn't serious enough to require any treatment at that time; he wanted us to follow up on Saturday morning though, just to be sure it wasn't getting any worse. Saturday morning, the pediatrician, Dr. H, was satisfied with Syd's color. However, he was concerned because she was breathing pretty rapidly and wasn't responding appropriately to all the pokes and prods- rather than being agitated, she just laid there. He gave us instructions to go straight to the ER at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital and told us they would be expecting us.

Vandy ER
Sydney was seen right away. By this time, her breathing seemed to be under control, but she was extremely lethargic. It had been four hours since her last feeding and she wouldn't wake up to eat and wasn't crying or fussy. All the doctors could tell us at that point was that something was causing her to behave that way and we needed to figure out what it was. It was a long day of waiting, crying, and praying. She had chest x-rays, abdomen x-rays, blood tests, urine cultures (after hours of trying to get urine out of her), and even an attempted spinal tap- 2 sticks were unsuccessful at withdrawing fluid. All the tests were coming back ok, but the doctors weren't convinced that all was fine.

In the Infant Unit
She was finally admitted around 6 or 7 last night. Her blood-ox level had been good all day in the ER, but the nurse on the floor noticed it dropping shortly after we moved up. She was assessed by yet another doctor. It wasn't long before they started "blow-by" oxygen, indirectly giving her concentrated amounts of O2. By 10 or 11, she was showing signs of needing more attention, and over the course of the next hour or so she ended up with 5 nurses/doctors standing over and around her bed trying to draw blood, start a new IV, get her blood pressure from all extremities. It was excrutiating for me and Rob, so we know it could only have been worse for her. Finally around 1am, they finished and were satisfied that they'd done all they could do until morning. By this time, we've been told her situation could be related to a viral infection, lung problem, heart defect, heart murmur, meningitis, and several other options I can't even remember any more.

Overnight
Sydney had an EKG and a nasal cannula was started because the blow-by oxygen was no longer enough to keep her blood saturation up at a healthy level.

Sunday Morning
We're waiting for a pediatric cardiologist to come up and do a heart echo. Sydney nursed a little bit, and then drank 2 oz. from a bottle (yay!). She blew her second IV early this morning, but Dr. H wants to hold off on a third IV if we can get her to keep drinking. He sat down with us and was very compassionate in explaining that while most pediatric cases are pretty clear, Syd's obviously is not. He feels like he can rule out, at this point, a viral or lung issue or infection. He's anxious to hear from the cardiologist, though, and believes that we may find the root of our girl's problems. Dr. H is a believer, and he prayed with us before he left. He also shared that as he prayed yesterday morning, before he began his day and met us for the first time, God stirred his heart and told him that he needed to be on alert because he was going to see something important that day; he thinks God was preparing him to meet Sydney. She is indeed important to us.

**Updated Sunday Afternoon**
The cardiologist just left and her heart is "perfectly normal". PRAISE THE LORD!!! He suspects bronchiole-itis (sp??). We're back to waiting for the next step, but we're so encouraged that it's not a problem with her heart! Thank you Jesus!

As for us...
Rob and I are "ok". I'm so thankful that he's so strong; he's been a rock while I've been a mess. On Tuesday, I thought labor and delivering a baby would be the hardest things I would ever do. I was so, so wrong. The hardest thing I've ever done is sat and watched my four day old baby be poked and prodded while she screamed with all her little lungs had. The hardest thing I've ever done is sat and watched my four day old baby be poked and prodded while she lay there and didn't respond at all. My heart has been broken over and over again, and put back back together every time she's opened her eyes and looked at us.
Really, we are ok. We have absolute faith and trust that God knows what is going on and He will continue to be faithful to heal our girl. It hasn't been easy to believe, but it's all we can do. We've been encouraged and strengthened by the calls, texts, and prayers of so many. Thank you for loving us and loving our baby enough to lift up her name. We look forward to the day we can take her home and send out pictures of a happy, healthy, thriving little girl.

How you can Pray for Us
- Pray for Sydney!! She's been a trooper so far. Pray that she'll continue to eat good without IV fluids, pray that she'll sleep good when she's not being messed with and that she'll show her dissatisfaction when she's agitated. Her cry has become a sweeter sound than we ever could have imagined. Pray for her pain to be minimal and healing to come quick
- Pray for the doctors, nurses, and specialists who are treating Syd and reviewing her case. Pray for wisdom for them to see what exactly is causing these problems and knowledge of how to treat it quickly
- Pray for Rob and I to continue to have strength and energy to endure the next few hours and possibly days. We came in as exhausted parents of a four-day-old baby and haven't gotten much rest since. Pray for my milk to continue to flow so that it will be enough to sustain Syd nutritionally. Pray for our faith to grow in the midst of this trial

We love you and are grateful that we have a wide network of family and friends who we can call on for support- both physically and emotionally. Please keep praying and we'll do our best to keep you updated.

Day two: Just as Sweet!

Not that we were concerned, but she didn't get any less cute overnight! In fact, I think both Rob & I are even more smitten with our precious girl today than we were yesterday. Sydney is just amazing and we are in awe that God would give us such a beautiful gift. We are beyond thankful for our incredible blessing!

That's not a mirror- that's Rob's baby picture! As one nurse said, "That ain't a daddy's maybe- that's a daddy's baby!"

She's here!!!

Sydney Claire Dixon; Born 11/17/09, 1:55pm; 8lb9oz 20.5in........perfect