A Mom's Thoughts

5 weeks old

I can't believe how much Sydney has changed already! I know that 5 weeks isn't very long, but it seems like SO much has happened since she was born. Really, it's already hard to remember our lives without her- it's like she's always been here. And it's so good.

Christmas is different this year. Rob and I were talking tonight about how usually, by this time in December, we've been singing Christmas carols for weeks in church, and heard the story of Jesus' birth preached a few times. We haven't been out as much this year, so it's been up to us to "get into the Christmas spirit" on our own. And it's been harder to do. But at the same time, I feel like I'm seeing Christmas through new eyes this year. We went to our church's Christmas music service last weekend, and one of the kids choirs sang a song about how Jesus was a baby, and He cried, and He took his first steps-- it described Jesus' humanity as a baby. As we sat there listening to the kids sing, my eyes welled up with tears, thinking about how Mary dealt with all the same emotions I've been feeling lately. The joy she felt as a mother. The pain she felt when her baby cried. It's so cliche', but it's true- you can't describe the love a parent feels for their child, and I've experienced that now. So to think that God loved us so much that He would sacrifice His Son, that Jesus came to earth as a baby so that we could have eternal life... it's almost too much to swallow.

Becoming a mother has taught me so much that I didn't know I didn't know. The greatest lesson, though, is a better picture of the magnitude of God's love. I'm certain that I've only begun to taste it, and yet I'm overwhelmed.

I'm not really sure where I was trying to go with all that, and re-reading it now I realize that it sort of rambles. Maybe it would be better if I tried to organize my thoughts a little more and then share them in a more coherent manner, but I'm going to post it anyway. Sorry for rambling- I'll just play the "I-haven't-slept-a-full-night-in-months-so-I can't-really-think-straight" card. I'll be praying, though, that you too will see Christmas through a new filter this year and be changed by it.